We can only love another as much as we love ourselves. Self-love means treating ourselves with as much love and kindness as we would treat the person or pet most special or beloved to us in the world. Self-love is fundamental to having a positive outlook, healthy self-esteem, a sense of self-worth and the ability to truly love another. Conscious acts of self-love reprogramme our consciousness and enhance our whole life. Below are some suggestions you can think up your own. (Try out the ones that resonate).

Photo by David Olkarny on flickr

 

1 • Make time to:

soak in a warm bath with candle light and epsom salts. Spend time with loved ones. Watch the sunrise or sunset. Read the book/watch the film you’ve been wanting to for a long time. Spend a day at the beach. Cuddle a cat or give your inner child a teddy bear to talk to.

 

2 • Are there any activities do you know that give you pleasure that you are not doing or not prioritising? Do one and make time in your schedule to do it regularly. (Even doing 5 minutes of something you love can have a powerful effect. Then increase the time).

 

3 • The language you use in your head to talk to yourself will affect how you feel about yourself. Pay attention to the words and if it isn’t loving be more kind to yourself. Imagine you were talking to a child or even a beloved pet. Even if it feels strange to speak to yourself with words of affection, I promise you this will change everything.

 

4 • Practise reparenting – holding in your mind the capable parent part of yourself and your inner child part. The capable parent speaks to your child with words of love. Try saying, ‘I love you’, ‘I care about you’, ‘I will not abandon you’, ‘You are doing really well and I’m proud of you’. ‘You’ refers to yourself. Practise using terms of endearment to yourself such as, angel, darling, sweet heart, honey. If it’s difficult to speak to yourself like this. Try something that doesn’t feel too alien, ‘little one’ is usually the easiest term of endearment. Try out different words until something sticks.

 

5 • Stop comparing yourself to other people. Measuring and judging yourself will not help you feel good about yourself. Instead notice the things about yourself that you do like instead of what you don’t. You don’t have to be perfect. No one is. Instead, congratulate and praise yourself when you do something well. It’s quite amazing the feel-good rush a simple, ‘Well done you’ can have when we say it to ourselves).

 

6 • Pray to whatever you believe in. (You might choose to pray for presence, trust or guidance). You may choose to use the Metta Prayer, the Buddhist Prayer of Loving Kindness: https://wilddivinelight.com/the-buddhist-metta-prayer-of-loving-kindness/

 

7 • Start a gratitude practise – every day before you go to sleep or wake up list at least 5 things to be grateful for – e.g. clean air, a comfortable bed, having a good friend to talk to who you trust, that you are alive another day in this miraculous body. Some people like to keep a gratitude journal.

 

8 • Eating regularly keeps the blood sugar levels even, which balances your mood. And making the effort to do this demonstrates that you care about yourself and your wellbeing.

 

9 • Write down your worries in a journal or piece of paper to stop them going round and round in your head. (Spend at least an hour doing something pleasurable after you have written them down before going to bed).

 

10 • Visit a pristine wild place, walk in the countryside, or in a park if you live in a city. Connect to the aliveness and bounty of nature, stop to smell the flowers – the scent of roses uplifts and soothes our hearts. Feeling sunlight on our faces raises our mood. Sense how you are connected to all of this.

 

 

11• Exercise releases endorphins and will help with your sleep better. It’s even better if you can exercise outside. It’s recommended to exercise 30 mins a day five times a week. e.g. swimming, dancing, walking in nature.

 

12 • Tune in to your body’s natural circadian rhythms: eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, allow yourself to feel what you feel without following any rules about how you “should” be feeling. Breath deeply, this commits us to being alive. Shallow breathing stops us feeling and fully living.

 

13 • Give up smoking or other addictions and embrace a healthier life. Addictions are usually caused by trauma, so get some trauma healing to support this big step and allow yourself to feel what you are avoiding.

 

14 • Practice meditation or mindfulness to calm your mind. If your mind is racing try an active mediation e.g. Dynamic or Kundalini Meditation – devised by the Indian mystic Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh aka Osho: (www.osho.com/meditate/active-meditations/dynamic-meditation.

https://www.osho.com/meditate/active-meditations/kundalini-meditation).

 

Photo by Amita K. Patel on Pin Interest