Tantrikas often practice ejaculatory mastery and rejuvenating whole body valley orgasms. For tantrikas, the focus is off ejaculation and clitoral orgasm which are known as peak orgasms. Of course, if it happens accidentally, we celebrate it like everything in Tantra.
Tantra is not goal orientated. Unlike conventional sex, it’s not all about the orgasm it’s about being present to each moment – so sex becomes a meditation. While orgasms may happen with or without ejaculation, Tantrikas enjoy the sensations at every stage of lovemaking. Avoiding friction in sex means the lingham and yoni are more sensitive. Being present with each other, Tantrikas experience the exquisite feelings of love and intimacy that far surpass the experience of a quick orgasm, depletion, retreat and sleep habit many people get into. Riding on the waves of orgasmic energy throughout the whole body, experiencing peaks and valleys is a much longer lasting and satisfying and often blissful experience. So lovemaking can last for hours and even include deeply resting together in a valley until the energy rises again.
The benefits of not having a clitorial orgasm include:
Feeling more strongly attracted to partner, feeling emotionally balanced and not overly emotional, sensitivity in the yoni, more relaxation, ability to deeply surrender.
The benefits of not ejaculating include: juicier sex, stronger libido, increased attraction to your partner, harder erections, ejaculatory control, longer lasting lovemaking, increased sensitivity in the lingham, deeper types of long lasting orgasm, more aliveness, better mood and less emotional ups and downs, more relaxation, ability to deeply hold woman and provide safety, and more creativity.
Tantra gives men ejaculatory choice. You can choose to ejaculate or not but you are encouraged not to for several reasons:
- Tantra is not goal orientated. If ejaculation happens celebrate it because the semen is a your seed and life force energy and a sacred juice with life giving properties. It’s unfortunate that some sensual massages masquerade as tantra and are confusing people. Having ejaculation as a goal is not part of an authentic tantric experience.
- Ejaculation is a peak orgasm. After ejaculation men loose the capacity for energetic and multiple orgasm or whole body valley orgasms. Experiencing a valley orgasm conserves your life force energy and thereby regenerating your skin and bodily organs and enhancing your physical energy. Most sex happens in the brain and sexual frustration is a feeling that can be changed by choosing to feel full of your life force energy, personal power and in contact with your orgasmic potential.
- Men have been conditioned not to cry and to repress their emotions, so it’s no wonder our society is so hung up on sex and most men have an addiction for ejaculation as this is one of the few acceptable ways for men to experience a “release” of emotion or tension. There are other ways to experience physical, emotional and stress release that you can learn in a session with me. For example: emotional release through pillow beating or other forms of catharsis, using a punch bag in gym.
There are other side effects to ejaculation you might even call post orgasm hangover:
4. Most men feel tired after ejaculation from loosing some of their life force energy.
- We have a limited amount of life force energy when we are born and if we waste it on a momentary pleasure we are wasting our sacred life force. It is vital for life and is not recreated in the body and when it’s finished so are we.
- Immediately after ejaculation, serotonin the ‘happy hormones’ dramatically drop, and it takes 17 days for the hormones level to recover. This usually causes irritability, anger and conflict in relationships, and the feeling that you need to ejaculate again.
- Also after ejaculation oxytocin, the bonding hormone, drops and take 17 days to recover. This explains why sometimes we feel less attraction to our lover soon after sex and want to take some space.
- Having regular peak orgasms creates emotionality anger, irritation, weepiness and this is one of the withdrawal symptoms of abstaining from ejaculation. Our mood drops and we can have mood swings until our hormones even out again. This can cause problems in relationships, at work and socially, creating the feeling we “need” to ejaculate/peak orgasm again.
Some tantra teachers recommend abstinence from peak orgasms in favour of valley orgasms. As it takes 17 days to recover from one ejaculation and 21 days to overcome the ‘addiction’ to have a peak orgasm having a break for 21-days can vastly improve your sex life. As your tantric journey unfolds you become able to practice ejaculatory mastery and choose when to ejaculate and when to retain your semen.
Other ways to promote the potential of a whole body orgasm
- Have a series of Divine Light Healing sessions with me to clear any blocks in your physical body. Combine this with my spiritual journey programme for maximum effect.
- Practise self-pleasuring without ejaculating/peak orgasming, and relaxing the body instead of clenching the genitals and anus, for 28 days. When I first did this, I experienced a smell orgasm walking past a freshy cut cedar hedge with fresh sheen of rain.
- Be Un-English and do emotional release daily. When you don’t have any blocks in your body, repressed energy cannot get stuck and stop your life force energy flowing freely. If you’ve been to a session with me, we’ve probably practiced some emotional release techniques. E.g. Screaming into a pillow, Pillow pounding, letting the whole body shake for 15minutes or doing a shaking cathartic dance with music. Most people find this a relief, release, and liberating.
- Receive de-armouring – Tension and physical blocks can stop our life force flowing freely causing problems e.g: fear, anxiety, shame, blame, jealousy, possessiveness and more. Previously unprocessed emotions and experiences can be stored anywhere in the body, but the solar plexus and anus store more.
- Do what you love as much as possible. Have loving sex and practice self pleasuring, and if possible whole body orgasm regularly.
Dealing with blue balls
In some instances when practicing semen retention men can get “blue balls”.
The symptoms of “Blue balls” are a dull ache in your balls or lower part of your belly and this pain lasts 1-2 hours. It is harmless and will pass. It’s normal and there is a lot of blood flowing into your sexual organs if you are aroused, but your body will reabsorb the semen and over time with practice this will get easier.
To deal with the discomfort of blue balls: get active, work out, dance or do anything that promotes good blood circulation. If that doesn’t work take a cold shower. If its painful use ice wrapped it in a towel. Take care of your balls and never put ice directly on them. If it’s really painful take a painkiller. Remember even though its nasty, it will pass.
