wild divine light recovery from abuse

“Breathing him out of me is like vomiting treacle. It catches in my throat. So convinced am I that I need him. I am still coming off the drug of his mind manipulation: Just a visit to the garage for car repairs and I feel overwhelmed and helpless, like I need him, the way he wanted me to feel, so I’d never leave him.

 

But I did. It’s been five months now and these feelings come less often. However, I am not gifted with clean uncomplicated grief where I can just mourn for him and the life we shared. That is denied to me. The grief comes out like sticky tar welded to the painful memories of how he had to mar perfectly beautiful moments with his anger and criticism. And then blame me.

That is what grief is like, after narcissistic personality abuse. I remind myself it’s okay now. I got away. I managed my life for 50 years without him, so I can manage again.”

 

I began healing this two and a half years ago and I have now completely recovered and am in fact more divinely aligned than I was before. I now offer a comprehensive Healing Programme for Recovery from Narcissistic abuse encompassing mentoring and Alchemy Healing. Email: cliona@wilddivinelight.com.

 

Have you also have experienced financial abuse and feel trapped by financial and emotional ties and children? There are ways out we can discuss. Don’t suffer in silence.

 

HOW TO HEAL FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

  • Do whatever you need to do to remove yourself from the situation and stay safe.
  • Realise it is highly unlikely that he/she will ever change because they think they are perfect the way they are. Narcissists can heal but they have to want to.
  • Block him/her on your phone and every social media app and distance yourself from his/her friends.
  • Cutting cords and removing hooks may need to be a daily practice. If it feels the other is constantly re-cording into you, ask yourself what do I still want from them? You cannot separate from them entirely until you honestly want nothing more from them. This lifts you out of the victim role and empowers you to think and act for yourself again. Cutting cords can arrest the grief instantly.
  • I healed with writing and weeping until there was nothing left to write and no tears left to cry.
  • Be compassionate and kind to yourself and your inner child, practise self-love and reparenting.
  • Having compassionate, wise and trusted friends or family who know what you are dealing with, are also vital in this process. At the beginning I questioned my every move and the temptation to return to him was almost overwhelming. Make a pact with someone you love that you won’t call or return to him until you have spoken to them first.
  • It’s a very complex, many stranded process to extricate yourself from, so stay strong and give yourself time. It took me a year after the break up to start to get back on track with my life. And it can take much longer.
  • In the beginning you may cycle through grief, anger, compulsion to call  and feel like you can’t live without him. Then recall everything they did to hurt you. This is an important stage of the recovery process. If you can, talk to your friends, family or a therapist and write it all down again and again. I spent months writing a letter every day to my ex that I never sent.
  • After healing all the emotions you’re holding (grief, anger, shame, fear…) to progress in your recovery you need to realise that on some level you created this situation. While shocking, this empowers you to create a different future, thereby taking back your power. You cannot completely heal while you continue to blame the other for the situation. That only disempowers you further. A good therapist will explain the victim and perpetrator drama triangle that you need to remove yourself from.
  • Notice if the relationship mirrors your childhood. If so heal the childhood wounds and reparent yourself so you are not triggered into re-living these.
  • Learn about co-dependency which usually goes hand in hand with this recovery. See books on my Resources page.
  • Healing can take many months to years but eventually you can free yourself by forgiving the other, knowing that in fact they aided you in your spiritual evolution/personal development. Gifts I received were empathy for others in this situation and the ability to help them recover.
  • One day you will wake up without dread and fear or anger and grief, without thinking about them at all, and this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Celebrate.

 

I am a trauma therapist and Alchemy and Divine Light healer so get in touch with me or another good therapist if you need assistance. Wild Divine Light offers a unique process that harnesses Divine Light Healing and Alchemy to transforms the trauma and wounds of narcissistic abuse into spiritual evolution.

 

Wild Divine Light honours who you are at your core – a Divine spark of light and love, and gives you the opportunity to radically transform your situation and live a life of freedom and joy.

 

I wish you courage

Much love

Cliona

 

Email: cliona@wilddivinelight.com